


you'll be mine (and i'll be yours)

by hoshilover



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Messy Feelings, Minor Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Minor Jeon Wonwoo/Wen Jun Hui | Jun, has a bit more angst than i planned but
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:41:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21845335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoshilover/pseuds/hoshilover
Summary: “Am I not good enough for you or something?”“It’s not that. It’s just…” Jihoon pauses. “You’re Soonyoung.”or an au where soonhoon are bffs and soonyoung gets upset when jihoon laughs way too hard at the idea of them dating
Relationships: Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Jeon Wonwoo/Wen Jun Hui | Jun, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 11
Kudos: 226





	you'll be mine (and i'll be yours)

**Author's Note:**

> hi this is my first svt fic and i wrote it all in a few days bc i have way too much free time
> 
> ALSO the title comes from 'everything has changed' by taylor swift
> 
> feel free to leave comments if u wanna hehe i always appreciate feedback <3

**EVER** **SINCE** **SOONYOUNG** and Jihoon were assigned roommates at the start of their freshman year of college, they’ve stuck by each other and grew to be really close friends. To those who don’t know them, it may come as a surprise that they’re as close of friends as they are, considering they appear to be as different as two people can get. Polar opposites, some might say. For one, Soonyoung is quite loud, never caught without a cheerful expression on his face and thought to be running on a never-ending supply of energy. He’s sociable and friendly, fun to be around and guaranteed to brighten up your day.

Jihoon, however, is more on the quiet side. He’s a major introvert, usually opting to spend a night in with a few friends over a night out and keeping to himself when he can. Though very different, Soonyoung and Jihoon fit well as friends; their dynamic is strong and they ultimately balance each other out. They sort of have a lot in common, too, both interested in music and performance, as well as sharing the same sense of humor and a lot of the same friends.

Wonwoo, who has been Soonyoung’s best friend since high school, found it quite odd when he first found out Soonyoung and Jihoon were as close of friends as they are. In fact, Wonwoo had always assumed the two of them were the kind of roommates who had the occasional deep conversation in the late hours of the night but never went out of their way to truly get to know each other, but the first time they hung out as the three of them, he quickly realized he was mistaken.

While Soonyoung and Jihoon spent their freshman year crammed in their shoe box of a room, Wonwoo chose to opt out of dorm life and got his own place near the university instead – although paying for rent all on your own is quite a challenge when you’re a broke college student, which is how Soonyoung ends up moving in with him the start of their sophomore year.

Jihoon was sort of in the same boat, as his best friend Jeonghan got his own place during his junior and Jihoon’s sophomore year. Soonyoung and Jihoon still manage to stay really close, and even brought both Wonwoo and Jeonghan along to form a small friend group. The four of them really only spend large amounts of time with each other, as the majority of them consider themselves quite introverted and are perfectly satisfied with having only a few close friends. Or at least that’s how things are for a while, up until Wonwoo starts dating Junhui – a guy in his year that he’d been casual friends with a few weeks before finally gaining the courage to ask him out – and invites him into their group.

“He’s really great, I think you guys will like him a lot.” Wonwoo says in the university café one particular afternoon. He checks his watch what seems like every five seconds. “He should be here any minute now.”

“Wonwoo, relax.” Jeonghan says.

“Sorry, I don’t know why I’m so nervous.”

“Everything is going to be alright.” Jihoon assures him, but Wonwoo still looks frantic.

“Yeah, from what you’ve told us about him so far, he seems cool.” Soonyoung says, offering Wonwoo a smile.

“He’s honestly really amazing.” Wonwoo blushes a little.

“So, what’s he like?” Jeonghan winks. Wonwoo smacks his arm.

“He’s really sweet, smart, funny… he doesn’t really talk much, though,” Wonwoo explains while he stirs his coffee. “But it’s okay that he doesn’t, because he’s a really good listener and you can tell he cares a lot.”

“Who are we talking about?” Junhui suddenly appears behind him, laughing a little when Wonwoo startles.

“You,” Wonwoo says, pulling out a chair. He motions to his friends once Junhui joins them at the table. “I want you to meet my friends. This is Soonyoung, Jihoon, and Jeonghan. Guys, this is my boyfriend, Junhui.”

“Nice to meet you,” Soonyoung says first.

“Nice to meet you too,” Junhui smiles, “I’ve heard a bit about you.”

“Oh, we’ve all heard a _lot_ about you,” Jeonghan comments, earning a kick underneath the table from Wonwoo.

Junhui just laughs and looks at his boyfriend. “Good things, I hope.”

“Of course,” Jihoon confirms.

“He’s majoring in music just like you, Jihoon.” Wonwoo points out.

“Oh, cool!” Jihoon brightens at the mention of music. “Do you sing, dance, compose? Oh, do you play any instruments?”

“I love to dance, that’s definitely my favorite thing. But I also sing a little and I can play piano,” Junhui tells him. “Although I’m not much of a composer.”

“Cool! I’m personally more into singing and composing, actually. Oh hey, Soonyoung really loves dance, too,” Jihoon says, nudging Soonyoung. “He’s like, always practicing and he makes his own choreographies, too.”

Soonyoung flushes. “I am pretty passionate about dancing.”

“That’s really cool, both of you. Maybe we could choreograph something together?” Junhui asks Soonyoung, then turns to Jihoon. “I think it’s pretty impressive that you write your own lyrics.”

“I guess, I’m not sure how good they are, though,” Jihoon responds humbly.

“Are you kidding?” Soonyoung looks appalled. “You write amazing lyrics. I’m honestly pretty blown away by your talent.”

Jihoon feels the tips of his ears going red. “Thanks.”

Soonyoung teases him when he notices, and Jihoon just laughs and lightly smacks his arm.

Junhui watches the interaction before turning to Jeonghan. “Are you a music major as well?”

“Ah no, I’m studying political science and law,” he says. “But I love music a lot, too. I really enjoy singing.”

“Wow, that’s really awesome. I’m sure you’ll do amazing.” Junhui smiles again.

“Thank you,” Jeonghan returns his grin, then frowns when he realizes what time it is. “Fuck, I should probably get to class.”

“Shit, me too,” Wonwoo stands up then too, pecking Junhui’s lips. “Thanks for meeting us here. I’ll text you later, yeah?”

“Yeah, of course.” Junhui waves to both Wonwoo and Jeonghan as they’re leaving. Junhui talks to Soonyoung and Jihoon a little longer before he leaves to go finish up some studying, and as he’s getting up to leave, he sees Jihoon laugh at something Soonyoung must have said.

“You guys make a cute couple,” Junhui says with a smile.

They both freeze.

Soonyoung politely corrects him, Jihoon expresses an entirely different reaction.

“Oh, we’re actually not together. He’s just one of my best friends–” Soonyoung starts, but gets cut short by Jihoon’s sudden fit of laughter.

“Yeah, like we could ever be a couple,” Jihoon chuckles again, shaking his head. Soonyoung goes quiet, and Junhui looks at them as if he regrets every single decision he’s made up to this point.

“Sorry, my mistake. I just thought–”

“Yeah, no. Just best friends,” Jihoon states again, taking another sip of coffee.

“Again, it was uh… nice meeting you, Junhui,” Soonyoung diverts his eyes from Jihoon and offers Junhui a small smile. “I’m sure we’ll be seeing you around.”

*

It takes Soonyoung another day or two to bring up Jihoon’s reaction to Junhui’s comment. He ends up confronting Jihoon by accident; it slips out during a light conversation about one of Soonyoung’s past relationships.

“I dated this one girl, Yuna, for like – a month or so?” Soonyoung says. “She was really cool. We were never officially a couple though; we just enjoyed each other’s company. We stopped seeing each other when I left for college, but we still talk as friends sometimes.”

“Well, it’s cool that you ended on good terms,” Jihoon replies, “but you were never officially boyfriend and girlfriend? I don’t know why but I always imagined you as someone who would need an official boyfriend label. I guess I’m a little surprised.”

“I’m a little surprised that you just mentioned me and ‘boyfriend’ in the same sentence without laughing,” Soonyoung said before he could stop it.

Jihoon notices the passive-aggressiveness in his response. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Soonyoung shrugs. “I don’t know, you just seemed really revolted with the idea of me being your boyfriend, so I figured–”

Jihoon stops walking. “That’s what this is about? Come on, you know I didn’t mean any harm when I–”

Soonyoung just shakes his head. “Just forget I said anything, yeah? Let’s talk about something else.”

Jihoon agrees, but something tells him the conversation is far from over.

*

Soonyoung brings it up again the following day, taking advantage of the opportunity when he spots Jihoon studying in the café.

“One month,” Soonyoung slides into the seat across Jihoon.

“What?”

“Give me one month to prove to you that I would be a good boyfriend,” he sips the last of his drink – quite obnoxiously, Jihoon would add – and takes the straw from his empty cup to suck on the end.

“It’s not that you wouldn’t be a good boyfriend, it’s just that you couldn’t be _my_ boyfriend,” Jihoon is interrupted by Soonyoung’s loud slurping. “Would you mind cutting that out?”

“Well then if that’s the case,” Soonyoung starts, disregarding the warning. “You should give me one month to prove that I could be _your_ boyfriend.”

“I don’t get why you care so much,” is all Jihoon says. “I mean, we’re best friends. It’s not just you, by the way; I wouldn’t date any of our other friends, either. Besides, what Junhui said earlier? It was just a misunderstanding.”

“Maybe so,” Soonyoung averts his eyes to the table. “One that made you laugh a little too hard.”

Jihoon sighs. “Listen, I’m sorry if my response offended you in any way, but you shouldn’t take it so personally. You and I just… make more sense as friends.”

“Am I not good enough for you or something?”

“No, no it’s not that. It’s just…” Jihoon pauses. “You’re Soonyoung.”

“Wow, thanks. That makes it better.”

“You know what I mean,” Soonyoung doesn’t say anything, and Jihoon softens a little. “Hey, please don’t be upset. I didn’t mean it like – like that. I just meant that I like the way things are with us now, don’t you?”

Soonyoung forces a smile. “Yeah, I do.”

“Good.”

“But I still think you should give me the chance to prove you wrong,” Soonyoung continues when a short silence falls between them. “If you let me be your pretend boyfriend for a month, I think I can make you see that, hypothetically, we would make a good couple.”

Jihoon sighs, but he’s honestly amused and always up for a challenge. “I’m not so sure this is a good idea, but fine. One month.”

“That’s all I need.” Soonyoung gives him a teasing smile. “So, this means I can treat you like my boyfriend?”

“Sure,” Jihoon pauses. “But there can’t be any kissing.”

“That’s fine,” Soonyoung agrees. “Although I think you will change your mind about it.”

Jihoon doesn’t say anything more.

*

It’s the first official day of Soonyoung and Jihoon’s pretend relationship and Soonyoung finds himself alone at his place, bored out of his mind.

_Soonyoung_ [5:30] **:** hi jihoonie :) do u wanna come over and hang out

 _Soonyoung_ [5:30]: wonwoo’s out with jun and i’m lonely T_T

 _Jihoon_ [5:32]: i wish i could but i’m super stressed with homework :( i’ve been working for hours and i still have so much to do

 _Soonyoung_ [5:33]: hours? please tell me you’ve been taking breaks

 _Jihoon_ [5:33]: …

 _Soonyoung_ [5:34]: oh my god

 _Soonyoung_ [5:34]: okay now you’re definitely coming over

 _Jihoon_ [5:35]: idk :(

 _Soonyoung_ [5:36]: you’ve worked hard, you deserve a break

 _Soonyoung_ [5:36]: and i want to see my boyfriend ;) ;) ;)

 _Jihoon_ [5:37]: haha alright you wore me down

 _Jihoon_ [5:37]: be over in five

Jihoon enters Soonyoung’s place with tired eyes, and Soonyoung looks at him with concern. “Are you alright?”

Jihoon sighs and shakes his head. “I’m just so busy. I swear these professors forget we have other classes and don’t have time to do all of this extra work.” He kicks off his shoes by the door and sits down opposite from Soonyoung on the couch.

“I get it, this college shit is too much sometimes,” Soonyoung empathizes. “Just what level of stress are we talking?”

“On a scale from one to ten,” Jihoon starts, and Soonyoung nods. “Eleven.”

“I’m sorry, is there anything I can do to help? As a friend, or as a boyfriend?” Soonyoung asks hoping it’ll make Jihoon smile.

It does.

“I don’t think so, but thanks.”

“Would you maybe want to cuddle?”

“What?” He’s confused. “You mean like… with you?”

Soonyoung chuckles. “Yeah, of course with me. Who else?”

“Well, I don’t know,” Jihoon’s sort of laughing now too. “Sorry, I guess that was a pretty dumb question.”

“Maybe a little,” Soonyoung teases, but his soft smile doesn’t falter, “but yeah, we can cuddle if you want. I know you pretty much hate skinship, but it might help you relax.”

“What makes you so sure I hate skinship?”

“You always pull away when some of our friends try to put their arm around you or lay against you or whatever,” Soonyoung says as if it’s obvious, “especially with me.”

“Try me,” Jihoon says.

“Are you being serious?”

Jihoon nods. “Yeah, why not?”

Soonyoung shifts over by Jihoon, sitting close enough for their arms and thighs to touch. Jihoon feels shy, but he also doesn’t try to move away. “If you feel uncomfortable at all or if you just want your space, just tell me, yeah? I won’t be offended or anything.”

Jihoon nods. Soonyoung moves to wrap his arms gently around Jihoon’s torso, pulling the latter into him. Jihoon shifts so he can lay his head against his chest, tangling their legs together once he settles comfortably in Soonyoung’s arms.

Jihoon shuts his eyes and, finally, tries to relax.

They lay there in silence, but it’s not uncomfortable in the slightest. Jihoon is preoccupied with the way Soonyoung’s fingers are carding through his hair soft and unhurriedly and the way Soonyoung’s other hand is resting on his upper back, occasionally tracing delicate patterns onto the fabric of his shirt. Jihoon quiets his mind with the sound of Soonyoung’s heartbeat and the feeling of Soonyoung breathing against him.

“Is there anything you want to talk about, or do you want to just lay here like this?” Soonyoung asks, temporarily breaking the silence.

“I like laying like this,” Jihoon responds.

“You know, if we were an actual couple, we could cuddle like this all the time,” Soonyoung points out playfully.

Jihoon just laughs and clings tighter to Soonyoung. “You’re intolerable.”

Soonyoung giggles, hugging him back. “You love it.”

Jihoon knows it’s true, but Soonyoung might be out of his mind if he thinks Jihoon will ever admit it.

*

“You should let me come hear you sing again. It’s been a while since I’ve heard your voice,” Soonyoung suggests one day during lunch.

Jihoon looks at him curiously. “What makes you bring this up?”

“You know like, as a form of support. Couples do that, right? Go to each other’s events?” Soonyoung answers. “You could also come to one of my dance practices.”

“Sure, I think it would be cool to come to one of your practices.”

Soonyoung smiles. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Jihoon finishes the last bite of his food. “But really, I don’t expect you to come and watch me practice. It’s really not that exciting, I promise.”

“I’m sure it will be,” Soonyoung insists, “can I please listen sometime?”

“Okay sure, I think I’d like that.”

“Great,” Soonyoung says, as Jihoon gets up to leave for class. “Hey, we should walk to class together.”

“Sure.”

“It’s kind of weird that we’ve never walked to our classes together at all this semester,” Jihoon points out, hands stuffed in his pockets while he walks. “I mean, our buildings are like – _right_ next to each other.”

Soonyoung chuckles. For some reason, Jihoon feels kind of warm in spite of the chilly air.

The gust of wind that comes after reminds him where he is.

“Are you alright? You look like you’re shivering,” Soonyoung asks, concern clear in his voice.

Jihoon just nods. “Yeah, just a bit cold is all.”

“Do you want to wear my coat? I think it might be a bit heavier than the jacket you’re wearing.”

“No, it’s okay. I don’t want you to be cold.” Jihoon brushes it off.

“I’m fine, honestly. I’m actually not that cold,” Soonyoung tells him, slipping off his coat anyways.

“Soonyoung, you really should wear a coat–”

“Maybe I could wear your jacket if you wear mine?” Soonyoung suggests. “Would that be okay?”

Jihoon bites his lip. “I guess that would be okay.”

They make the switch, and Jihoon instantly feels a lot warmer. “Better?”

“Yes, thank you,” Jihoon grins, “I’ll give it back the next time I see you.”

They part ways with a quick goodbye, and Jihoon wraps Soonyoung’s coat tighter around his body. The air isn’t so chilly anymore when he finally gets to his lecture, but he keeps Soonyoung’s coat wrapped around him anyways.

*

Jihoon heads over to Soonyoung’s place a few days later to return his coat, but then Soonyoung answers the door with heavy eyes and tear-stained cheeks and all Jihoon wants to do is comfort him.

“Soon, what’s wrong?” Jihoon asks gently when Soonyoung lets him in. He quickly scans the room. “Is Wonwoo here?”

“He’s in class,” Soonyoung answers, wiping at his eyes.

Jihoon softens. “Well, I’m here now. You can talk to me.”

Soonyoung tries to smile, but his emotions betray him and before he can even see it coming he’s bursting into tears once again. Jihoon pulls him into a warm hug, holding him tightly in his arms until he eventually stops shaking. Soonyoung wraps his arms loosely around Jihoon’s shoulders and allows the latter to scoop him up from under his thighs. Jihoon carries him over to the couch and continues to hold him in his lap.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jihoon asks softly, voice barely above a whisper.

“It’s just been – I’m having a really bad day,” Soonyoung explains, sniffling. “I feel so, so… overwhelmed, and so stressed. I barely slept at all last night because I was worrying so much about the dance competition that’s coming up. It’s only a few weeks away, and my team isn’t anywhere near prepared for it; we have like, no official choreo yet but it’s hard to get everyone together to practice when everyone is dealing with school work…” Soonyoung takes a deep breath before continuing, and Jihoon listens patiently. “And that’s another thing. Since I barely slept last night, I was so tired in all of my classes today so I could barely pay any attention to what we were supposed to be learning, and then I had an exam today that I’d completely forgotten about, so I probably failed that… I’m just so worn out and mentally exhausted and I just feel like such a failure.”

“I get it, you have a lot on your plate right now. It’s okay to be upset,” Jihoon assures him after Soonyoung expresses feeling embarrassed. “If it’s any consolation, I don’t think you’re a failure at all. To me, it’s more like you’ve succeeded at and accomplished so much that you feel this… this pressure to push yourself even harder. You’re the furthest thing from a failure, Soonyoung. It’s understandable that you’re exhausted and there’s no shame in taking a break if you feel like you need one.”

“You think so?” Soonyoung smiles at him, and it’s sincere despite the tears still in his eyes. “You really believe I’ve accomplished that much?”

“I know so, and of course I do.” Jihoon tells him, absentmindedly reaching out to play with the hairs at the back of Soonyoung’s neck. “And I know it’s easier said than done, but you shouldn’t worry so much about the dance competition. Yeah things may be messy now, but they won’t stay that way – I know you and I know that you wouldn’t let it. Not only are you a great dancer but you’re also a great leader; I know you’ll be able to get everything sorted out. And about that exam, even if you didn’t do well, it’s really only _one_ test. I’m sure you’ll be able to earn some points back; there’s plenty of time left in the semester to do that.”

“Thank you Jihoon, really,” Soonyoung hugs him again. “I’m really glad that you were here.”

“You don’t have to thank me, what are best friends – and boyfriends – for?” Jihoon nudges his arm playfully, and Soonyoung giggles at his mention of ‘boyfriend.’

“Still, though. I feel a lot better now,” he admits honestly. “Sorry for getting tears all over your coat.”

Jihoon laughs. “Well, it’s actually your coat. I wore it here to give back to you.”

“Oh, right,” Soonyoung starts laughing, too. “But it’s um, it’s okay. You can keep it if you want.”

“Are you sure? It’s a really nice coat.”

“I’m sure, it looks nicer on you.” Soonyoung says shyly.

Jihoon feels warm again.

Although, this time, something feels slightly different.

*

When Soonyoung gets his exam back, he sees he actually did decently well on it. He feels overcome with relief when he finds out, and wants to celebrate the good news.

That’s how Soonyoung and Jihoon end up at the ice cream shop just off campus, sharing a ginormous bowl of dessert. Jihoon insists on bringing his homework along with him and Soonyoung complains at first, as he was hoping the two of them could just hang out and celebrate. Although, he ultimately decides that he would like to spend time with him in any way he can.

Soonyoung makes a big mess with the ice cream, missing his mouth with the spoon and spilling it all over his shirt. Jihoon finds it extremely amusing, and Soonyoung seems happy to have made Jihoon laugh.

“You know, if I was your boyfriend, we could do things like this all the time,” Soonyoung says, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “It would be a really fun date.”

“Are you still on about that?”

“Okay, you’re right. I’ll drop it,” Soonyoung tries to say casually, but his nonchalance dwindles as a forced chuckle leaves his lips.

“No, don’t.”

“What?”

“You don’t need to – don’t drop it, okay?” Jihoon tells him, but Soonyoung is still staring at him with that strange look in his eyes. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?” Soonyoung asks innocently.

“I don’t know how to describe it, just… yeah, like that!”

Soonyoung’s entire face lights up then. Jihoon realizes that it’s kind of hard to breathe when Soonyoung smiles like that. “Sorry, do you want me to stop?”

Jihoon hates that his cheeks are burning. “I really need to finish this.”

Soonyoung gets the hint, but his lips are still sporting a teasing grin. Jihoon doesn’t let himself look at Soonyoung’s stupid face for a moment longer – not even when the latter compliments Jihoon’s work with a brief touch on the shoulder. Jihoon focuses on his project and tries not to think about the growing warmth in his chest.

*

It’s Friday night and Jihoon is bored. Like, out of his mind bored.

His mind drifts to Soonyoung and Jihoon thinks his mind has been drifting to him a lot lately. As if on instinct, he texts Soonyoung.

_Jihoon_ [10:01]: hey come over pls

 _Jihoon_ [10:01]: i’m bored

 _Soonyoung_ [10:05]: aw do u miss me~

 _Jihoon_ [10:06]: nvm forget i said anything

 _Soonyoung_ [10:06]: NO WAIT i was just teasing :(

 _Soonyoung_ [10:07]: but i do miss u tho

 _Soonyoung_ [10:07]: yeah i’ll be over

Soonyoung is at Jihoon’s door in no more than ten minutes. Jihoon thinks he looks sort of soft, his hair only slightly tousled in the back and a hint of a smile on his lips. He’s wearing a fuzzy sweater, Jihoon notes, and it makes him look welcoming – huggable, almost.

“Hi,” Soonyoung greets, still smiling.

“Hey,” Jihoon says softly, moving to let Soonyoung in.

“So, what do you want to do?”

Jihoon shrugs. “I don’t know, honestly. I figured we could just like, nap or something.”

Soonyoung laughs. “You invited me over to take a nap?”

“Don’t be mean,” Jihoon pouts, “but yeah. If you want to do something else, we can –”

“We can,” Soonyoung assures him, “we can nap.”

This is how they end up in Jihoon’s bed, one of Soonyoung’s arms tucked comfortably underneath Jihoon’s torso.

Jihoon is almost positive he’d drifted off at one point. For one, he noticed his face had been buried in Soonyoung’s shoulder when he opened his eyes, and he definitely doesn’t remember cuddling up to him like this. Jihoon looks up to see that Soonyoung is asleep, his eyes fluttering slightly as he dreams and soft, small puffs of air escaping his nose as he breathes. Jihoon doesn’t realize how long he must have been watching him when Soonyoung stirs awake.

“You’re staring,” Soonyoung points out, already a smug look on his face.

“What? No, I’m not,” Jihoon defends, the blood rushing to his cheeks. “Why would I stare at you? That’s kind of creepy, yeah?”

Soonyoung chuckles. “You know, it’s okay if you were, Jihoon. You can admit it.”

“But –”

Soonyoung sits up and stretches. “I know you were, so you might as well just fess up.”

“How could you possibly know that if you were sleeping, anyway?”

“I could feel your eyes on me,” he answers. “So, you admit it then?”

Jihoon’s mouth opens and closes like a fish. “I–”

“You’re so cute, Jihoonie,” Soonyoung fusses. Jihoon whines and lightly shoves his chest.

“Cut it out,” Jihoon whines when Soonyoung pinches one of his cheeks. He wonders if Soonyoung can feel the heat in his face. “Remind me again why I invited you over?”

Soonyoung rolls his eyes. “Obviously because you prefer my company over your own, and you miss me when I’m gone.”

Jihoon scoffs, but doesn’t deny it. “Go back to sleep, Soonie.”

Soonyoung smiles at him, pressing a quick kiss to Jihoon’s cheek. Jihoon tries to hide his surprise, but it doesn’t get past Soonyoung.

“Sorry, are cheek kisses okay? I wasn’t exactly sure what you meant before when you said there wouldn’t be any kissing–”

“It’s fine,” Jihoon tries to say impassively, “just not like... you know.”

“Of course, got it.”

Jihoon attempts to fall back asleep, trying not to focus on the heat on his cheek where Soonyoung had kissed him.

*

_[JEONGHAN created a group chat]_

_Jeonghan_ [6:40]: hello

 _Jeonghan_ [6:40]: do you know what we haven’t done in a while

 _Wonwoo_ [6:43]: idk but i bet you’re gonna tell us

 _Jeonghan_ [6:43]: movie night!

 _Junhui_ [6:45]: i have a big paper due in like two days

 _Junhui_ [6:45]: anyways what time should i be there

 _Soonyoung_ [6:46]: wait so we’re doing this tonight

 _Wonwoo_ [6:46]: hold on who’s all even in this chat

 _Jeonghan_ [6:47]: just everyone who’s talked so far

 _Jeonghan_ [6:48]: i was gonna invite this guy i’ve been seeing recently but i think he works late tonight :/

 _Soonyoung_ [6:48]: oh yeah you did mention that you were talking to someone

 _Soonyoung_ [6:48]: what did you say his name was again

 _Jeonghan_ [6:49]: his name’s joshua :)

 _Wonwoo_ [6:49]: are we gonna get to meet him any time soon

 _Jeonghan_ [6:50]: yes eventually

 _Jihoon_ [6:50]: so i take it we’re having this at our place?

 _Jeonghan_ [6:50]: yeah we have the biggest tv

 _Jihoon_ [6:50]: good point

 _Junhui_ [6:51]: can someone pls tell me what time i should be there

 _Soonyoung_ [6:51]: yeah what jun said

 _Jeonghan_ [6:52]: idk i guess we can start at like 8:30? but honestly you can just come and leave whenever idc

 _Soonyoung_ [6:52]: cool omg i’m excited!!!!

 _Junhui_ [6:52]: i’ll bring the snacks ^-^

*

It’s just around nine thirty, and they’re about to start the second movie. Jeonghan claims control of both the remote and the one seat on the couch that reclines, and Wonwoo and Junhui both have their hands in the snack bowl. Soonyoung and Jihoon are sat on the opposite end, and there’s really only so much room on the couch – especially with the way Junhui is laying all sprawled out and taking up a lot of extra room. This coupled with the fact that Soonyoung tends to cling to whoever is sitting around him could be why he and Jihoon are pressed so closely against each other in the little space that remains.

Normally it would be fine, being squished together like this – but there’s something slightly different this time. Ever since he comforted Soonyoung that night, Jihoon can’t help but feel a bit jumpy around him. He’s not exactly sure why, to be honest, but it’s there anyway. He is well aware of Soonyoung’s head on his shoulder and his arm secure around his waist. Jihoon can feel eyes looking over at them every once in a while, but he tries not to let it get to him. Jihoon glances over at Soonyoung, who appears to be nodding off a bit.

Jihoon softly nudges him awake and whispers. “Hey Soon, you’re falling asleep.”

Soonyoung’s eyes flutter open slowly. “Tired.”

“It’s not even ten o’clock,” Jihoon chuckles, “and we only watched one movie so far.”

“You’re comfy,” is all Soonyoung says back, holding onto Jihoon a little tighter.

Soonyoung continues to cling to him for the rest of the night, whether it’s cuddling up to him during the movies, hanging all over him when he laughs so hard that he can barely stand up, or ruffling Jihoon’s hair every time he says something even remotely funny. Jihoon tries not to dwell on it too much though, because Soonyoung’s always been touchy with his friends, and why would it be any different with Jihoon?

Still, Jihoon’s chest tightens every time Soonyoung gets even a tiny bit close to him.

“I’m going to go get something to drink,” Jihoon announces when Soonyoung gets particularly clingy.

“Oh, good call.” Jeonghan agrees, standing up to follow Jihoon into the kitchen.

“Is everything alright?” Jeonghan asks him once they’re alone in the kitchen.

“Yeah, why?”

“You’re being weird.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jihoon insists, digging through the fridge for a soda. “I’m fine.”

“You’re acting all fidgety around Soonyoung. Did something happen between you two?”

“Nothing happened, I promise. You’re just overanalyzing things.” Jihoon contends, but Jeonghan seems unconvinced.

Jeonghan quickly grabs a water bottle. “Okay, if you say so.”

They come back from the kitchen to see that the movie had ended, and Junhui gets up to start another one. Jihoon groans when he sees it’s a horror movie; Soonyoung squirms from beside him.

If possible, Soonyoung seems to cling to Jihoon even more throughout this movie, as he tends to scare easily. Soonyoung pulls their shared blanket up to his face, too afraid to watch. Jihoon can feel Soonyoung shaking a little beneath the blanket, so he gives his thigh a quick reassuring pat. Soonyoung puts his hand on his wrist, taking Jihoon’s hand in his. Jihoon feels himself tense up a little, but he doesn’t pull away. Soonyoung slips his fingers in the spaces between Jihoon’s so they can hold hands properly, bringing their joined hands to rest comfortably on his thigh.

Jihoon is quiet.

“Is this okay?” Soonyoung whispers, just to be sure.

Jihoon nods. “Yeah, sure. I’ve actually never held hands with someone like this before. You know like, properly,” he admits, eyes casting down to their intertwined fingers. “It’s um, kind of nice.”

Soonyoung gives Jihoon’s hand a squeeze, and they continue to hold hands for the remainder of the movie.

With the exception of Jeonghan and Jihoon, Soonyoung is the last one still there. Jeonghan left the room to go take a shower, while Jihoon sits at the table and works on one of his projects.

“You look really focused.” Soonyoung points out after a few minutes. “What are you working on?”

“A new song,” Jihoon reveals, “I wanted to have the lyrics finished by tonight.”

“Cool, how’s it coming?”

Jihoon sighs. “I don’t know, it’s not the best.”

“Why do you always do that?”

“Do what?”

“Put yourself down like that. Jihoon, you’re the most talented, hardworking person I know and you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You deserve better than that.” Soonyoung speaks with a sincerity Jihoon hasn’t heard before, his eyes soft and genuine.

“Thanks, I could say the same about you, you know.” Jihoon admits.

Soonyoung considers his words. “It’s late. You should sleep soon.”

“I know, I just need to fix this one part. It’s just… it doesn’t sound right. It could be better.”

“Jihoonie, I’ve seen your writing and I think it’s amazing the way it is.” Soonyoung assures him.

Jihoon wants to disagree, but he remembers what Soonyoung said earlier and decides against it.

“Do you really think so?”

Soonyoung nods. “Of course, I’ve always been honest with you.”

“I know you have, thank you.” Jihoon says, absentmindedly playing with Soonyoung’s fingers when the latter reaches across the table. Jihoon spares a quick glance at the clock. “Hey, you’re right. It is really late, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I’m heading home soon.” Soonyoung tells him. “Jeonghan hyung offered to give me a ride home on his way to Joshua’s place.”

“Hey, you want to just spend the night here?” Jihoon offers.

“Wait, are you sure?”

“Yeah, no problem. Jeonghan hyung barely sleeps here anymore, so it gets a bit lonely at times. I’d like it if you stayed.”

“Okay, sure.” Soonyoung smiles. “Thanks. Hey Jihoon?”

“Yeah?”

“Since I’m staying the night,” Soonyoung starts, “do you think maybe I could hear you sing now? Like, before we go to sleep?”

Jihoon blushes a little. “Uh, yeah. Sure.”

“I figure that when you hear it yourself, you’ll see it’s amazing just the way it is. You know, just like I said.” Soonyoung smiles at him.

Jihoon feels his stomach flip.

*

Soon enough, this becomes a pattern; Soonyoung crashing at Jihoon’s place, talking and laughing until late at night when they have class early in the morning and regretting it when they have to leave the comfort of the bed far before they’re ready to but still doing it all over again the next day. Then, if they have time before class, Soonyoung volunteers to make a quick coffee run to give them that well-needed energy boost.

Lately, Jihoon and Soonyoung have been spending nearly every bit of their free time together. It’s really nice, Jihoon thinks. It feels easy, too. Comfortable.

It’s possible that it’s a little too easy and comfortable for Jihoon’s liking; it kind of freaks him out.

Jihoon shakes the thought from his mind.

*

_Soonyoung_ [3:15] **:** jihoonie~

 _Soonyoung_ [3:15] **:** are u busy

 _Jihoon_ [3:16]: not particularly why

 _Soonyoung_ [3:17]: u should come to the studio then hehe

 _Soonyoung_ [3:17]: i wanna show u something

 _Jihoon_ [3:17] i’m intrigued

 _Jihoon_ [3:18]: omw

“Hey, do you remember when I was stressing over the choreo for the dance competition?” Soonyoung asks when Jihoon arrives, still wearing Soonyoung’s coat.

“Yeah, I do. Did you finally get everything sorted out?”

“You could say that,” Soonyoung flashes him a smile. “But I want to hear what you think.”

Soonyoung runs over to start the music, and it takes Jihoon a few seconds to realize what he’s listening to.

It’s _his_ song; his voice blaring through the speakers.

Jihoon thinks back to the night that Soonyoung slept over and listened to him singing – he hadn’t felt any indication that Soonyoung had been recording him, but now here he is – dancing his heart out to a song Jihoon had written. Jihoon just watches Soonyoung, all focused and precise with his movements despite performing a fairly difficult choreography and somehow finding a way to make it look easy. Jihoon has no idea how he does it, really. Soonyoung – he thinks – is breathtakingly fascinating in any and every way possible.

“So, what do you think?” Soonyoung asks when he finishes, his breathing heavy.

“I loved it,” Jihoon says, awestruck. “Did you… choreograph this all yourself?”

“Yeah, that’s why I wanted it to be perfect for you.”

“I can’t believe you did all that,” Jihoon looks at him, astonished. He takes a step forward. “You’re amazing.”

Soonyoung flushes at the compliment. “Well, I don’t know about that, but–”

“No like, seriously,” Jihoon continues, his ability to formulate words slowly decreasing like the space between their bodies. “You’re seriously amazing, and talented, amazingly talented… and so supportive.”

“You know I’ll always be your biggest supporter,” Soonyoung says, his voice sincere. “You’re really talented.” Jihoon is all smiles now, which Soonyoung mirrors with equal sincerity. Soonyoung shifts to pull Jihoon into a close embrace and Jihoon hugs him back, tightly and warmly. They stay like that until Soonyoung leans to place a kiss on his cheek once they break apart.

When Jihoon moves away from the touch, Soonyoung visibly deflates; a small frown replacing his sweet smile. Jihoon gives him a quick reassuring smile and hooks one of his fingers beneath Soonyoung’s chin. He tilts his face slightly so they can share a proper kiss, just a quick brush of lips to let Soonyoung know he still wants him close.

“Oh,” Soonyoung says, eyes shining with realization before Jihoon’s placing delicate, fleeting kisses on both of his cheeks, the tip of his nose, and the corner of his lips. He stops kissing Soonyoung’s face for a moment to look into his eyes, taking in the exact moment that Soonyoung’s gaze drops down to his mouth.

Jihoon moves to kiss him again.

“Wait,” Soonyoung puts some space between them. “I thought you said that if we did this whole fake boyfriend thing that there couldn’t be any kissing? I’m just kind of confused.”

Jihoon sighs. “I know.”

“Why did you kiss me?”

“Just wanted to.” Jihoon admits, before the weight of his words start to crush him.

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” Jihoon notices Soonyoung’s eyes drift to his lips once again. “Is that okay?”

Soonyoung nods, leaning back into Jihoon’s space. “Sure, yeah. Definitely okay.”

Jihoon leans in the rest of the way and soon enough they’re kissing again. It takes Jihoon’s heart a moment to calm down before he can properly kiss Soonyoung back, adjusting to the pace that Soonyoung had established for them – experimental and curious, yet uncertain and timid. Jihoon is blushing an embarrassing shade of red when they pull apart, but he relaxes once he sees Soonyoung’s pink-tinted cheeks.

“You’re unbelievable, you know that?” Jihoon tells him, voice hushed before reconnecting their lips.

Jihoon holds Soonyoung’s face like he would a heart in his hands, careful and protective as he slows his kisses and allows himself to revel in the feeling. For a moment Jihoon is almost positive his heart had stopped, with Soonyoung’s hands settled on Jihoon’s waist and the soft hums against his mouth. It’s overwhelming, but in the best way.

It feels like sensory overload; each and every one of Jihoon’s nerves is up in flames.

It isn’t until his heart starts beating erratically again that he’s reminded it hasn’t moved from his chest, the reality of this moment something close to overwhelming. Jihoon knows he should pull away, knows that if they stay here wrapped up in each other for too long that this could be dangerous. He knows they might end up crossing the boundary of their friendship, and his head is telling him nothing is worth risking his friendship with Soonyoung even if it feels good.

But when Soonyoung teases his tongue between Jihoon’s parted lips, he throws all caution to the wind and melts into Soonyoung’s touch.

They kiss like this for another few minutes, until Jihoon comes back to reality.

“This can just be a one-time thing, right?” Jihoon asks against Soonyoung’s lips, and the question elicits a strong reaction from him.

“I’m sorry?” Soonyoung puts some distance between them.

“Is something wrong?”

“It’s just – this sounds a little familiar, don’t you think?”

Jihoon considers his words. “How do you mean?”

“Do you remember that one night? It was around two years ago at that party?” Soonyoung clarifies, taking a deep breath. “I think it was for Wonwoo’s one friend Mingyu’s birthday? Please tell me you remember.”

Jihoon freezes, because of course he remembers.

“Haven’t you ever thought about it?” Soonyoung asks suddenly, the two of them sat together on the floor of some room. Jihoon can sort of hear the music pulsating from the other side of the door, and Soonyoung’s simple question rattles around in his brain for the rest of the party. “Us – I mean? Well, not us _necessarily_ , I guess. Like, it could be with any of our friends, actually. Have you ever thought about what it would be like to date one of them? Or kiss them, even?” Soonyoung stops rambling, and for a second Jihoon mistakenly thought he was done. “I don’t know, you probably don’t – I guess I’m just curious about these things. Have you ever like, even if it was just for a second, wondered what it might feel like to kiss me? Even just out of curiosity?”

Jihoon’s throat goes dry. “How much did you have to drink?”

Soonyoung sighs. “Only a little.”

Jihoon looks at him suspiciously, but Soonyoung doesn’t falter. “Is that so?”

“Mhm.”

“What’s your definition of ‘a little?’” Jihoon presses.

“I had two drinks,” Soonyoung rolls his eyes. “So, I take it you haven’t thought about it, then?”

“What?”

Soonyoung laughs. “You’re so… how much did _you_ drink?”

Jihoon starts laughing then too, shoving Soonyoung’s shoulder playfully. “I had two beers, you asshole.”

“Hey,” Soonyoung is only able to pout for a few seconds before breaking into laughter, and it’s not long before Jihoon is laughing, too. As their laughs quiet down into soft giggles, Jihoon realizes they’re sitting close enough that he can easily see Soonyoung’s eyes glistening in the light.

“Are you wearing eye shadow?” Jihoon asks then, noticing what appears to be a light shade of purple and a sprinkle of glitter around his eyes.

“Yeah, just a little bit, though,” Soonyoung tells him, and Jihoon’s just looking at him. “I guess I just wanted to look nice tonight… Wonwoo actually suggested the glitter. It’s not too much, is it?”

“No, no,” Jihoon rushes to explain. “I don’t think it’s too much at all. It’s… it looks really good on you.”

Soonyoung hums, and a short silence falls between the two of them. Jihoon recognizes that he’s still staring at Soonyoung’s eye makeup, but for some reason he can’t seem to look away. It does suit him really well, after all. At one point, Jihoon’s gaze slips down to Soonyoung’s lips and lingers there for a while, but by the time Jihoon realizes where he’s been staring, he’s pretty sure Soonyoung has already noticed.

“Jihoon?” Soonyoung’s voice brings him out of his thoughts.

“Oh right – sorry.” Jihoon verifies.

“I might be projecting a little bit here, but for a moment it seemed like… like you wanted to kiss me.”

Jihoon can feel his heart knocking against his ribcage. “You might be projecting? What, are you saying you want to kiss me?”

Soonyoung just bites his lip and smiles softly. “I would be lying if I said that I didn’t.”

“Soonyoung...”

“Maybe I want to kiss you a bit,” Soonyoung confesses. “Is that so terrible?”

“It could be,” Jihoon says. “You’re one of my closest friends. I don’t want to lose–”

“You won’t lose me,” he cuts him off. “You couldn’t. Ever.”

For a moment, Jihoon lets himself consider it. Soonyoung is attractive of course, beautiful even; Jihoon remembers being struck by his good looks and amiable personality when he’d first met the boy. And now, with their faces so close together and the liquid courage running through his veins, it’s like Jihoon’s stuck all over again. Soonyoung was pretty, that much he’d noticed, but now he notices more than ever.

“Jihoon? You haven’t said anything for a while, are you alright?”

Jihoon ignores the question. “It would be okay if you kissed me just this one time, right? You know, just as a way to like, get it out of your system. I don’t think it would hurt, do you?”

It takes a few seconds before Soonyoung does exactly this, slowly slotting their lips together before kissing him with an enthusiasm unlike Jihoon has seen before. Soonyoung kisses him deeply, intensely but not in a way that’s too much. Although, maybe this _is_ a bit too much. Jihoon sort of feels like he’s on fire; the feel of Soonyoung’s kiss mixed with the little bit of alcohol still left in his system makes him feel electrified all the way down to his toes. Soonyoung’s mouth is warm and wet against his, and he tastes just like the strawberry drink Jihoon saw him drinking earlier. Jihoon is just as eager; the two of them kiss for a while until Jihoon’s hands start to roam down Soonyoung’s chest and slip beneath his shirt.

Soonyoung pulls back. “Thought we were just making out.”

“Yeah, you’re right. We are,” Jihoon flushes. “Sorry.”

“All good,” Soonyoung smiles, chasing Jihoon’s lips. They keep kissing until both of their mouths start to hurt. “How do you feel?”

Jihoon doesn’t give himself the chance to think about it. “It was nice. Really nice actually, but you know we shouldn’t let it happen again.”

“It was just a one-time thing, yeah I know.”

“So,” Jihoon starts, “did you get it out of your system?”

“Did _you_?” Soonyoung deflects.

Jihoon doesn’t answer. They don’t speak about it again after that.

“I remember.” Jihoon admits finally. “To tell you the truth, for a while I thought I’d just imagined it. You know, since we never talked about it after.”

“Well, you didn’t imagine it,” Soonyoung says, “and it looks like we’re gonna talk about it now.”

“If it’s okay, I’d rather we didn’t.”

“It’s not,” Soonyoung tells him honestly. “I can’t keep doing this; you can’t keep messing with my feelings like this.”

“What are you talking about? What feelings?”

Soonyoung laughs, but there’s a hint of pain behind it. “If you don’t know by now, it’s because you choose not to.”

“Soon, I swear I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Jihoon asserts.

“Well then, why don’t you let me know when you figure it out?”

“What are you–”

“You know, you were right. This fake boyfriend thing was a mistake. I think we should end this early, yeah?”

Before Jihoon can even process what just happened, Soonyoung has already left him alone in the studio.

Jihoon tells himself he will see him around, that he can fix this.

He doesn’t see him around. In fact, Jihoon starts to believe Soonyoung is making a deliberate effort to avoid him.

They don’t speak for a while.

*

One thing Jihoon quickly learns after not being able to message Soonyoung or spend time with him whenever he wants is that he physically cannot deal with it. He’s been down in the dumps ever since the fight they had a week ago, not leaving his room for anything except to eat and, when he feels like it, go to class.

“Jihoon, it’s been a week.” Jeonghan says tiredly. “You look awful.”

“Gee, thanks. So glad I can count on my best friend to cheer me up.” Jihoon says sarcastically, and Jeonghan just sighs.

“I meant that you’re obviously miserable and I can’t stand to see you like this anymore.”

Jihoon sits with his head in his hands. “I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“Talk to him.”

“You think I haven’t tried?” Jihoon replies coldly, but softens at Jeonghan’s hurt expression. “Hey, I’m sorry for taking my frustration out on you, hyung.”

“It’s okay. You’re just upset, I get it.” Jeonghan sits down beside him. “But you do know that you can’t just sit here and mope forever.”

“I know that. I’ve tried texting him like once or twice when we first had that fight, and he never responded to me.” Jihoon admits.

“Well it’s been a few days now, so maybe you could try again. He probably just wanted some space.”

“I hope that’s it,” Jihoon laughs sadly, “You know, actually, I think I might wait it out a little bit longer. Like, until I legitimately can’t take the distance anymore. Then maybe I’ll go over to his place and we can talk in person instead of by text.”

“Sounds good to me.” Jeonghan agrees. “And hey, I know it may be hard to believe now, but you guys are going to get through this – I’m sure of it.”

“I hope so,” Jihoon pulls Jeonghan into a hug, “thank you.”

*

Jihoon decides he can’t take the distance anymore two weeks after his talk with Jeonghan, seeking to fix things with Soonyoung in person.

He approaches Soonyoung’s door and knocks before he can back out.

“Wonwoo,” Jihoon says when the door finally opens. “Sorry, is Soonyoung here?”

“No, he went to the studio,” Wonwoo says, stepping aside to let Jihoon in. He walks in to see Junhui sitting on the couch and greets him with a nod.

“Did he um, tell you anything?” Jihoon asks Wonwoo apprehensively.

“Yeah, a little bit, but he didn’t have to. It was pretty obvious.”

“How?”

Wonwoo shrugs. “I’m observant, I guess? I pick up on things.” He takes the spot next to Junhui on the couch and pats the seat on the other side of him; Jihoon takes it. “That and the fact that he’s one of my best friends and we live together.”

“Right,” Jihoon bows his head, “is he okay?”

Wonwoo gives him a pointed look. “Well, he left a few hours ago and hasn’t responded to any of my texts.”

“I fucked up,” Jihoon squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, foolishly hoping everything will be fixed once he opens his eyes. He opens them, disappointed to find that nothing’s changed. “I was stupid and now I’ve ruined everything.”

“Okay, don’t be so dramatic,” Wonwoo says sternly. “After me, you know Soonyoung better than anyone else. You know how he is – he gets a bit upset for a while, but then he forgives and moves on. He cares about you a lot, yeah? He’s not going to let you go that easily; you have to believe that.”

Jihoon smiles sadly. “He is pretty relentless.”

Wonwoo smiles back in agreement. “Why don’t you try talking to him? I know he hasn’t texted me back at all today, but I’m sure he’d be glad to hear from you.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure of that. I mean, I broke his heart because I was afraid of my feelings.”

Wonwoo’s eyes widen a little. “Feelings?”

“I haven’t exactly said this out loud yet, but…” Jihoon fumbles, “when I’m with him, when we’re together – I’m much happier; I think that could be why this time apart from him has been so hard. I feel like I’ve spent so much time trying not to dwell on the reason that everything seems different with him.”

“Different how?”

“Different like – complete,” Jihoon says, quickly before his confidence can leave him. “I think part of me always knew that things were different with us, but I was too scared to figure out why. Any time I felt like something might happen with us, I shut it down immediately. I didn’t even want to think about the possibility of losing him if I tried to explore this – whatever it is I have with Soonyoung – but now I feel like I need to be honest with myself, and with him. He needs to know that I... he needs to know I love him.”

Wonwoo doesn’t say anything at first. It makes Jihoon wish the ground would swallow him whole.

When he finally does say something, though, Jihoon finds himself wishing the silence would have persisted.

“You both are idiots,” Wonwoo deadpans.

“What–”

“He’s right,” Junhui chimes in. “I mean that in the nicest way possible.”

“Why are we–”

“Oh my god, just talk to him,” Wonwoo practically begs. “Please.”

Jihoon feels confused – and a bit insulted, honestly – but complies.

_Jihoon_ [2:00]: hey soon, can we please talk

 _Jihoon_ [2:10]: it’s been like three weeks

 _Jihoon_ [2:15]: i came by your place looking for you and wonwoo said you were in the studio

 _Jihoon_ [2:45]: i know i’m probably the last person you want to talk to right now and i understand that

 _Jihoon_ [2:55]: but i just wanted to make sure you’re okay

 _Jihoon_ [3:00]: i miss you :(

 _Jihoon_ [3:15]: you know it’s really sad bc like

 _Jihoon_ [3:15]: all this time i thought i was protecting our friendship but now i just feel like i’ve lost you

“He isn’t responding to me,” Jihoon tells them. “But maybe that’s a good thing. I don’t really know what I’d say anyways.”

“You could tell him how you feel,” Wonwoo advises.

Jihoon chuckles. “Yeah, no.”

“Why not?”

“I’m just not completely sure that he feels the same way as I do.” Jihoon confesses, and Wonwoo and Junhui share a look. “What?”

“Do you remember when I first met you and Soonyoung in the café and mistook you guys for a couple?” Junhui asks.

“Yeah, I remember.”

“Well, the reason I thought you were a couple was because I saw the way he was looking at you. Not to mention the look on his face when you friend-zoned him and said you could never be a couple. It was – he looked like a kicked puppy, Jihoon,” Junhui says like it’s obvious. “He’s clearly whipped for you.”

“I don’t think so… I mean, yeah we’ve like, kissed and stuff before, but I wouldn’t go as far to say he’s whipped for me–”

“Oh no, he is. Believe me,” Junhui says, confirming with Wonwoo. “I think that if you know you like him too, you should go for it.”

“I don’t want to risk–”

“Your friendship, yeah we know,” Wonwoo interrupts. “But honestly, Jihoon, whether you know it or not, you already risked your friendship by lying about how you feel. Now you have a chance to make it right, and I think you should take it.”

“Just think about it,” Junhui adds. “You’re stressing over this so much because you’re only focusing on what could go wrong if you told him how you feel. But, have you considered what could go right?”

_Soonyoung_ [4:01]: you haven’t lost me

 _Soonyoung_ [4:01]: i thought you knew that i could never stop caring about you

 _Soonyoung_ [4:02]: i just needed some time

“He just replied,” Jihoon tells him, and the couple exchanges a knowing look. “God, I was so worried… he had me thinking that he hated me. But, I’m still not sure where to go from here.”

“His dance competition is tomorrow.” Wonwoo says.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Well, were you planning on going?”

“I was going to, but I wasn’t sure if he wanted me there,” Jihoon sighs, “do you think he would want me there?”

“I’m sure he’d love it if you came.” Junhui adds.

“Yeah, you should go support him. It’ll remind him how much you care,” Wonwoo advises, “and maybe you can catch up with him when it’s over and talk things out.”

“Are you sure ‘talking things out’ won’t spoil his night?” Jihoon asks. “I don’t want him to be upset on competition day.”

“He won’t be. I’m sure he’d be glad to talk with you again.”

“Okay, you’re right. I’ll go,” Jihoon decides, and both Wonwoo and Junhui sigh in relief. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Junhui smiles, “it’s about time you guys made up.”

*

Sitting in the audience might just be as nerve-wracking as being one of the performers, Jihoon decides as his stomach knots. Soonyoung’s team will be performing any minute now, and Jihoon is stuck in his own head. He can’t stop worrying that Soonyoung will see him sitting in the audience and give him a look that says ‘you shouldn’t be here.’ He can’t stop wondering about the song and choreography they will perform – would Soonyoung still use Jihoon’s song when they haven’t had a proper conversation in what feels like weeks? Possibly, Jihoon thinks, but it’s probably just because of the inconvenience that would arise from having to choreograph a whole new song.

“It’s going to be alright.” Wonwoo says from beside him, placing a hand on Jihoon’s knee to stop him from shaking.

“You know he still cares about you a lot,” Junhui reminds, “please try to relax.”

“Don’t stress over it, just focus on Soonyoung’s team when they perform.” Jeonghan says.

Jihoon takes a deep breath the same moment the lights dim around them, and when the music blasts through the speakers and he hears his own voice, he feels his chest start to ache. When Soonyoung dances so beautifully on the stage, Jihoon feels as if his heart is being squeezed.

“He really is a great performer,” Wonwoo whispers to Jihoon.

“He’s incredible,” Jihoon agrees. “I honestly believe he was born to be on stage.”

If Jihoon thought he was nervous sitting in the audience, he should see himself now that the show is over and he has to confront Soonyoung.

Soonyoung approaches their friend group and thanks them for coming, as they all congratulate him on their first-place win. When he and Jihoon make eye contact, Jihoon swears he feels all of the air leave his lungs at once.

“Hey um, congrats.” Jihoon tells him awkwardly; it’s like he’s forgotten how to formulate a coherent sentence. “You were amazing.”

“Thank you,” Soonyoung says shyly, “hey, can we talk?”

Jihoon is relieved that Soonyoung asked first. “Sure, where should we go?”

“We can go sit in the car? It’s not the ideal place to talk, but it’s probably the best option we have for privacy.”

Jihoon nods, taking the keys from Jeonghan and walking out to the parking lot.

He can hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears.

“I want to start by saying again that you were really amazing tonight,” Jihoon says once they’re in the backseat. “I honestly think you’re a star, Soonyoung.”

Soonyoung perks up at the compliment. “Thank you, that means a lot.”

It’s quiet for a minute or so before Jihoon finally gains the courage to break it.

“I haven’t exactly been honest with you about how I’ve been feeling lately,” Jihoon starts softly. “…but I want to be. I’m sorry if I ever led you on, made you feel used, or fucked with your feelings. I really didn’t know you felt like - like that towards me, I swear. It was never my intention to hurt you, but I hurt you regardless and I’m really sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.”

“What do you have to be sorry for?”

“For leaving you hanging, not responding to any of your messages. I shouldn’t have just iced you out like that,” Soonyoung runs a hand through his neatly styled hair. “Communication is a two-way street, yeah? At least you made an effort to reach out. We only stopped talking because of me.”

Jihoon sighs. “Well yeah, but you had every right to be upset with me. I wouldn’t have wanted to talk to me either.” Jihoon takes a deep breath, a hopeless attempt to steady his heart. “All of this could’ve been avoided, you know, so please don’t blame yourself because it was me who ruined things.”

“No, I’m the one who ruined things. I punished you by not talking to you, all because I was upset that you didn’t return my feelings. I’m sorry for making things weird.”

“That’s not true–” Jihoon starts.

“Yes, it is, Jihoon. It’s not your fault if you don’t feel the same–”

“You’re not getting it–”

“I’m not going to let you take the blame for–”

“I love you,” Jihoon blurts, and everything seems to go still.

“It’s not – wait, _what_?” Soonyoung looks at him, eyes wide and mouth agape. “You… what?”

“I love you,” Jihoon repeats, and it’s a little easier to admit this time. “I’m in love with you, Soonyoung.”

“I don’t understand,” Soonyoung is absolutely dumbfounded. “I thought – I mean you were just… since when?”

Jihoon shrugs. “I honestly don’t know. It was just like – somehow, all the lines got blurred. I just remember waking up one day and feeling nervous every time I was around you. Which is ridiculous, right? Like, we’ve known each other for years and I’ve never been nervous around you, but now it’s like everything has changed and there’s nothing I can do to make it stop. All of a sudden it just – every time you get close to me, I feel like I can’t breathe.”

Soonyoung doesn’t say anything.

“But I haven’t exactly been the greatest boyfriend to you, even if the whole thing was pretend,” Jihoon continues. “Honestly, I haven’t been the greatest friend to you, either. I know that I didn’t realize my feelings for you until way after you realized your feelings for me, so if I’m too late… I get it.”

“What?”

“Or if you just want to pretend like this never happened, I can try to ignore my feelings for you and go back to being just your friend again,” Jihoon says painfully. “It will be hard, of course, but I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”

“You’re not – too late, I mean.” Soonyoung finally says. “And you aren’t just my friend, you know. You’ve been much more than that for as long as I can remember.”

“What are you saying?”

“I want to be with you, like for real.”

“I want to be with you, too,” Jihoon tells him honestly. “But I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“Dated anyone?”

“Dated anyone who is already as special to me as you are,” Jihoon starts, and Soonyoung stares back at him kindly. “I know you keep saying I won’t lose you, but I’m not sure you understand just how much you mean to me. These last few weeks without you were absolute hell; I don’t think I could do that again. I don’t ever want to be without you, Soonyoung.”

“Come here,” Soonyoung pulls him into a warm hug. “You’ve always got me, okay? I could never not love you.”

“What if we break up?”

“Who says we’re going to break up?”

“I’m just saying what if–”

“You’re the only one I want,” Soonyoung says when they pull apart, reaching out to cup Jihoon’s face. Soonyoung strokes Jihoon’s cheek with his thumb, his touch as gentle as his gaze. “No matter what happens, that’s something that’s never going to change.”

Jihoon looks at him – like _really_ looks at him – and Soonyoung’s words finally start to sink in. For the first time, Jihoon feels himself believe that maybe he can have this – that he can let himself love Soonyoung back.

Jihoon looks in Soonyoung’s eyes for a moment longer, then kisses him hard on the mouth.

There’s nothing like it – the feeling of Soonyoung’s lips against his and Soonyoung’s hands in his hair make him feel as if he’s floating, only coming back down to earth when Soonyoung stops to catch his breath.

Jihoon thinks he looks lovely like this – lips kiss-swollen and tinted the prettiest shade of pink, cheeks flushed as he stares at Jihoon with longing in his eyes. _I’m the only one who gets to be with him like this_ , Jihoon thinks as his arms hang loosely around Soonyoung’s neck.

“You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met,” Jihoon speaks from his heart. “I look at you and I just want to give you everything. You deserve happiness more than anyone I’ve ever known, and I want to give that to you.”

Soonyoung smiles and leans forward so their noses brush. “You already have.”

“I love you. I want you to be mine for real.”

Soonyoung kisses his lips quickly. “I’ve always been yours, Jihoon.”

For the first time in a long time, Jihoon’s heart feels full again.

*

_Wonwoo_ [7:15]: how did it go? please tell me you two talked everything out

 _Jihoon_ [7:16]: we did, we’re fine again

 _Wonwoo_ [7:16]: just fine? not good?

 _Jihoon_ [7:16]: we’re great actually

 _Jihoon_ [7:17]: i think he and i will be better boyfriends this time around

 _Wonwoo_ [7:18]: what does that mean

 _Wonwoo_ [7:18]: ...hold on

 _Wonwoo_ [7:18]: WAIT a minute

_[WONWOO added Junhui, Soonyoung, and Jeonghan to the chat]_

_Soonyoung_ [7:22]: hi ^__^

 _Wonwoo_ [7:22]: soonyoung

 _Wonwoo_ [7:23]: when were you planning on telling us that you and jihoon are together

 _Junhui_ [7:23]: you mean TOGETHER, together?

 _Wonwoo_ [7:23]: YES

 _Jihoon_ [7:24]: wait soonie you didn’t tell them?

 _Soonyoung_ [7:24]: I’M SORRY i thought they already knew

 _Wonwoo_ [7:24]: HOW WOULD WE HAVE KNOWN

 _Junhui_ [7:25]: the level of betrayal

 _Junhui_ [7:25]: smh

 _Jeonghan_ [7:27]: hi sry what did i miss

 _Junhui_ [7:27]: ARE YOU SEEING THIS??? soonyoung and jihoon are together and they didn’t even tell us

 _Jeonghan_ [7:27]: guys wtf

 _Jihoon_ [7:28]: we’re sorryyy

 _Soonyoung_ [7:28]: pls forgive us <3

 _Jeonghan_ [7:29]: we’ll consider it

 _Junhui_ [7:30]: try again in three to five business days

 _Jihoon_ [7:30]: …

*

The next time they all meet up together at the café, Soonyoung and Jihoon are an official item. Even though they’re a couple, they’ve never stopped being best friends; the only difference is that now they can kiss each other pretty much whenever they want. Wonwoo and Junhui are still going strong, and Jeonghan and Joshua recently made their relationship official.

“Joshua really wants to meet you guys, so I invited him to join us.” Jeonghan says as he tucks his phone away in his pocket. “He’s on his way over.”

“It’s about time.” Wonwoo mumbles when he thinks Jeonghan can’t hear.

Jeonghan makes a face. “Hey be quiet, I wanted to make sure it was serious before I introduced him to you.”

“So, I guess that means it’s serious now?” Junhui says with a teasing smirk. Wonwoo laughs.

“I guess so, yeah,” Jeonghan admits, “He’s a really great guy, I like him a lot.”

“Aw thank you, I like you a lot, too,” Joshua comes up behind him, placing his hands on his shoulders. He gives Jeonghan a quick hug from behind before he joins them at the table.

“Hey guys, this is my boyfriend Joshua,” Jeonghan introduces. “Joshua, this is my roommate, Jihoon, and our friends Soonyoung, Wonwoo, and Junhui.”

“Nice to finally meet you,” Jihoon says with a chuckle.

“You too,” Joshua says back, a smile on his lips as his eyes settle on Jihoon and Soonyoung’s linked arms and fond smiles. “You guys are really cute together.”

Jihoon presses a quick kiss to Soonyoung’s reddening cheek. “Thank you, I think so too.”

**Author's Note:**

> wow this ended up having more angst than i planned but here we are i guess  
> thank u so much for reading !!!!


End file.
